Hello All,
I’ve been away on a short “practice adventure”, and learning more about balance. In this case, I’m talking about those times in which you’re living in the space between challenge and slack. Adventures force you into this place, and sometimes over the edge from healthy challenge into overwhelm.
It’s good to stay balanced, but pushing your limits can be healthy as well. I now know that I can go farther on less sleep than I thought possible, start a fire in the rain and keep it going all day, and deal with the cold without becoming hypothermic or losing any toes. I wouldn’t have knowingly put myself into these situations, but on an adventure it’s either “go hard or go home”.
Remember this in your tantra practice, especially if your relationship has some elements of D/s. Don’t plan to push yourself (or your partner) into extreme overwhelm (unless you’re very experienced together). However, when difficulties arise, remember that you can get through them together. This is why couples have safewords. Consider putting yourself and your partner in situations that might go over the edge – this is exciting. Don’t go too far, but enjoy the confidence and trust that comes with handling problems.
A great way to work on trust is through extensive aftercare. Whenever you or your partner cross a big boundary or meet a new challenge, be sure to indulge in all of the necessary cuddling and affirmations afterward. Remember to be proud of yourselves for your progress, and make sure that both partners feel safe and accepted during every step of their journey together – no matter whether or not you succeed.
Ultimately, it’s about your experience together, not achievement for its own sake. Enjoy challenges, but don’t allow them to make you unhappy.
Good Luck!
Starlight Tantra 